I have been sitting here thinking about OK where do I start? Do I have this read like a boring book from beginning to end or do I just write from my heart as I feel led by God and things will fall as they fall? I am going with the second choice. I am so tired of being boring, doing what others expect of me and being so predictable. I love spontaneity as I am growing older. Makes me feel younger. Haha!!
I was thinking to myself Hmmmmm where do I begin? So many people will read this and not know much about me, some will know everything about me and be amazed I can write or am still breathing. I am a strong woman no doubt. I am a humbled woman as well. I do nothing and I mean nothing on my own. It is only with the love and strength of Jesus Christ I am sitting here today in my chair. For that God I give thanks.
I cannot believe Thanksgiving is only weeks away. Where did this year go? Amazing a year ago though I was dreading the holidays as my ex was preparing his second marriage to a woman I was really not sure I was ready to share my last name with. Funny I could not wait to rid it but was definitely not prepared to share it so soon. I am over that one. I was dreading being alone. Nothing is worse than when you are afraid of being alone and you are alone on holidays when others are with their families and loved ones.
Since my divorce in 2011 I have come to realize many things about me. Things I never really knew I knew. Here is my list:
I really do only like scrambled eggs.
I do not really have a love for reading but a great desire for sleeping.
I have been so lonely for a church home and church family.
I only prefer silver jewelry.
I will never wear high heels as I am now dating a man I swear is only 5'5"-though he did state on his dating profile he is 5"6"! :)
I am only an iPhone user.
I love the color green and red.
I am not a cat lover. I am now a dog owner.
I love coffee with whip cream.
I am amazed and shocked by people's ignorance.
I am so excited to live in my new life and have JOY in my heart.
I will never spend another holiday or birthday alone.
I love making lists.
I am addicted to Candy Crush and need help.
So as I could make my list go on and on I will stop there. It is amazing how you can lose your identity when lost in your life. I mean did I not really know those things in my list or did I just lose sight to who and what made Michele tick? I was married for over 22 years and gave birth to 4 wonderful children. We had by what appeared a great life and I seemed happy but in the quiet and still of the nights I was sad, lonely and desperate to get out. I somehow got so busy and consumed taking care of everyone else I lost the sight of me. As my world began to fall apart I can remember being so afraid and anxious because I knew what was ahead of me- a fork in the road. That moment in life when you say to yourself well which way do I go? So as I sat in my car and cried and cried and begged God to show me the way I made the decision to go to the left. It was there at that very moment I let go of the wheel and grabbed Gods hand and took my first step into the wilderness. Stay tuned.
In Christ,
Michele
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